I’m currently reading the 5 Love Languages for Men by Gary Chapman. Click here if you want to purchase the book for yourself.
Gary Chapman’s famous approach is that we all speak different love languages, and he categorizes them as:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
Take the test, if you have not already, to see your love language. This is really important to learn because we all communicate in different languages, and I may want to tell my wife that I love her through acts of service or gifts, but what she may really be looking for is words of affirmation.
Words of Affirmation
This is truly a Biblical concept. Here are a few passages to show the Biblical basis for learning this love language.
A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is! (Proverbs 15:23)
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4:29).
There are many other verses we could use, but these two set the stage for how important it is to learn to speak words of affirmation to our wives.
A good word spoken at the right time, Solomon said, how good it is! Take that into consideration in your own life. Can you think of times that someone said just the right words of encouragement just when you needed them? It just makes our day!
Take some time today to think of some encouraging words that you can say genuinely to your wife. Praise her appearance. Find great traits about her character and personality and point those out to her.
Gary Chapman recommends that we also do this in front of friends, family and co-workers. We all hear things through “the grapevine,” so how wonderful will it be that your wife hears that you are praising and complimenting her behind her back?
Find creative ways to affirm her. Think outside the box.
The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, and adds learning to his lips. Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones (Proverbs 16:23-24).