5 Love Languages: Physical Touch

I’m currently reading the 5 Love Languages for Men by Dr. Gary Chapman. Click here if you want to purchase the book for yourself.

Dr. Gary Chapman’s famous approach is that we all speak different love languages, and he categorizes them as:

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Quality Time
  3. Gift Giving
  4. Acts of Service
  5. Physical Touch

Today is about Physical Touch

This is certainly a Biblical concept, to show affection by physical touch.

  • An intimate embrace between a husband and wife (Song of Solomon 2:6; 8:3; Genesis 16:5).
  • A husband showing affection to his wife, like Isaac did to Rebekah (Genesis 26:8).
  • According to Solomon, there is a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing (Ecclesiastes 3:5). This tells us that physical touch is important, but it also shows us that we must have wisdom and prudence in when to use it.
  • A mother embracing a son (2 Kings 4:17).
  • A holy kiss as a greeting (Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20).
  • Think of Jesus washing the disciples’ feet (John 13), and consider how Mary washed Jesus’ feet (John 12).
  • Jesus, as a loving shepherd, holds us in His arms (Isaiah 40:11).

Dr. Gary Chapman once again gives some practical ways to show affection to our wives by physical touch. One important point, before we list some of those practical tips is to remember that not all physical touch is something to lead to the bedroom. If your wife thinks that the only reason you are hugging her is because you want something “more,” she most likely will resent that.

Here are some ways Dr. Chapman suggests that we can communicate affection to our wives through physical touch:

  • Give a hug
  • Hold her hand
  • Put your arm around her
  • Give her a high-five
  • Rubbing her shoulder
  • Playfully wrestling with her
  • Stroking her hair
  • Caress her back
  • Scoot in closer when sitting in a booth at a restaurant.

Again, I encourage you to purchase this book and read it. It is a very helpful guide to encourage us as men to carry out the Lord’s instruction to love our wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5).

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.”
(Eph 5:25-31)