Here are a few thoughts I recently shared with my daughter, and I pray they are wise. Believe me, my wife and I are in unchartered territory right now as parents of young men and women who are now seriously considering who they might marry one day. So…what kind of man are you looking for?
Is He Spiritually strong?
I do not mean that he is a flawless, super-Christian. But listen to him. What really matters to him? Where are his priorities, really? There are young men who “go to church,” and are “Christians,” but they are not spiritually strong. Their priorities are all wrapped up in earthly things. Is he someone who constantly has a reason not to be at worship services? Is he someone who loves to be around God’s people? What is his prayer life like? How does he make decisions? There really are young men like Daniel, Joseph and Jeremiah in this world, young men who are deeply committed to God, and it is evident in their conduct and conversation. Again, you are not looking for flawless perfection, because if that were the case, no one would ever get married. You are however, looking for a man who is seriously committed to walking with Christ. Pray for a man who will love God more than he loves you. Pray for a man who is more concerned about your soul than your body.
Is he Emotionally stable?
I do not mean the man has no emotions, nor that he is stoic. But if he is extremely insecure, you will one day pay the price for that in your marriage. Is he showing traits of being possessive, manipulative and controlling? Does he fly off the handle emotionally? How does he treat his parents? How does he treat people with whom he disagrees? How does he behave toward you when you do something he doesn’t like or approve of?
Is He Financially sound?
I do not mean that he is rich and wealthy. You are not marrying for money, but money fights are one of the biggest causes of dissension in a marriage. And of course, money is not the problem, it is our attitude toward money that is the problem. Remember what the apostle Paul said about the “love of money…” (1 Timothy 6:8-11). This is something you definitely should discuss with this young man. Is he on a pathway to lots of debt, because he is irresponsible with money? Does he have a healthy relationship with money? Again, you are not looking to marry into money, but if this man is not able or willing to provide for a family, you should find someone else (1 Timothy 5:8).
“Marriage is to be held in honor among all…” (Hebrews 13:4).